You likely never met Freddie McCullough, but after reading his obituary you might wish you had

October 7, 2018 Stories

Advertisement

We’ve seen the good and we’ve seen the bad of obituaries that go well beyond the call of death notice details in terms of the usual content. Although we wouldn’t necessarily call the latest in what seems to be a trend of unusual obits “the ugly,” it’s at least clear that William “Freddie” McCullough was a life-loving ladies’ man.

The Bloomingdale man died on September 11 last week at age 61, but his spirit is living on thanks to his now viral death notice published in the Savannah Morning News.

“Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reeses Cups and Jim Beam,” the obituary read. What he hated “vegetables and hypocrites.”

His talents? Building his house from the ground up, growing fruit trees, grilling chicken and wings and popping wheelies on his Harley Davidson motorcycle — at 50 miles per hour — among other things like “hitting Coke bottles at thirty yards with his 45.”

“Freddie adored the ladies. And they adored him. There isn’t enough space here to list all of the women from Freddie’s past. There isn’t enough space in the Bloomingdale phone book. A few of the more colorful ones were Momma Margie, Crazy Pam, Big Tittie Wanda, Spacy Stacy and Sweet Melissa (he explained that nickname had nothing to do with her attitude). He attracted more women than a shoe sale at Macy’s. He got married when he was 18, but it didn’t last. Freddie was no quitter, however, so he gave it a shot two more times. It didn’t work out with any of the wives, but he managed to stay friends with them and their parents.”

The obituary went on to state that McCullough “hated vegetables and hypocrites.”

“Freddie was killed when he rushed into a burning orphanage to save a group of adorable children. Or maybe not. We all know how he liked to tell stories,” the obituary read.

It’s clear to everyone that McCullough was someone that we all would have loved to meet! You can read his full obituary here.

[Source]